I Am Not Me Without You
by averygirl
Summary: Elizabeth and AJ... finding their way through the darkness... A Quiz fic. REPOST.
1. Their First Time

I am still seriously, **MAJORLY** peeved about how Elizabeth and AJ ended and how AJ was ultimately, tragically killed off _yet again._ I can't bear the thought of it actually so this story will be my personal Quiz therapy. Basically, it will show a year in Quiz's life together, picking up in August of 2013. There will be angst and tears, but ultimately happiness and love. I really believe these two should have been endgame and it breaks my heart that they won't be.

Please note that this fic was originally called "The Missing Pieces" but I have changed the title to reflect my feelings on the pairing. Thanks for reading. Much more is coming soon!

**I Am Not Me without You**

**Their First Time****  
><strong>_**August 6, 2013**_

AJ's large hand practically swallowed up her much tinier one as they tip-toed up the staircase, him tugging her along and her trying not to trip over her high heels. She felt like such a silly school girl in so many ways and a lilting giggle almost escaped her lips before she muffled it in time. Having sex with AJ under his family's roof was a bit – or a lot – naughty and she welcomed the feeling of reckless abandon that this little adventure evoked in her. It had been a long time since she had felt his carefree and an even longer time, since she had felt this happy. And she was so happy. When AJ told her that she was his world, she believed it. She had never really believed any other man who said it but AJ… AJ was different.

AJ was her most wonderful surprise.

They reached the landing and slowed their footsteps. AJ motioned to a door on the left and whispered "Tracy". He pulled a face that was so telling of his feelings for his aunt that this time Elizabeth couldn't resist a laugh. She tried covering it with her hand but it rang out. AJ laughed softly with her, his eyes dancing in the near-darkness. He then moved behind her and whispered, "Don't wake the dragon."

Elizabeth grinned and turned around, burying another laugh in his neck. He responded with a low growl as she nipped at his collarbone. He responded by grabbing her ass and using each cheek as leverage to push her up onto him. Her legs knotted around his waist as if by their own volition and she kissed him as he carried her down the hall. Her back met the door of his childhood room in short order and she whispered, "Hurry, hurry" as he felt behind her for the doorknob. They kissed, their tongues intertwining, as he finally located the doorknob and kicked the door back. It banged against the wall, bringing with it a little plaster. Elizabeth smirked at him and he whispered, "I am never fixing that hole." The dent in the plaster would serve as a beautiful reminder of what was about to happen here tonight. If he ever really did cover it up, she might be offended.

But that thought zipped right out of her mind as he kicked the door closed and sandwiched their bodies to the Oakwood. They kissed feverishly as AJ set her on her own two feet. Still, oddly enough, she felt as if she were floating…

Elizabeth ran her hands through his spiky hair as he ran his hands down her back. She moaned as he lifted the back of her skirt and ran his hands over her taut ass. Their lips continued devouring each other's as his hand worked from her ass up to her back, caressing the warm skin there. He found the latch on her tiny, strapless bra and flicked it open with two expert fingers. His hands then slid around to her front and he teased her nipples with the warm pads of his fingers. She arched into his touch and then he was spinning her around, so her back was to him. She let out an anticipatory breath as carefully he hitched his fingers into the thin straps of her raspberry dress. He tugged them down and pressed soft kisses – yet impossibly hot kisses- to each of her shoulders. She trembled under his touch as he kept working the dress down until it was a puddle on the floor, along with her bra and panties. Now she was just in her high heels and as she spun around, crushing her pert breasts to his chest, she couldn't miss the look of desire in his now-smoky, heavy-lidded eyes. He wanted her. And damn, she wanted him.

"You're so beautiful, Elizabeth," AJ said huskily as he locked his arms around her waist and pulled her in for another scorching kiss. She responded by nipping his lip and then tugging away, laughing as she darted to the bed. He gave chase and they tumbled to the mattress together. He was partly atop of her, his knee parting her thighs. "I want you so much. But if you want to turn back…"

"Do you want to?" She asked, for a moment nervous.

"Hell no. But I don't want you to ever feel like I rushed you or pressured you or –" he broke off as she reared up and crashed her lips onto his. She nibbled his bottom lip as her hands snaked to the front of his pants. He was aroused, very aroused, already. The mere idea caused a delicious shiver to slide down her spine.

"I want this," Elizabeth said. "I honestly want you."

He ran his fingers through her hair, twining a glossy chestnut strand around his index finger. "I don't deserve you. You're so amazing."

"Don't put me on a pedestal, AJ," she said, taking her hands and placing them on either side of his lightly stubbled face. "I am not perfect and even if I was, I would still want this. I would still want you. Just you. Now, always."

He grinned then and kissed her. She felt him lightly tweak her sensitive nipples and she moaned before grabbing for the lapels of his suit jacket. "You are way, way too dressed right now," she said. He laughed and started to help her undress him, but she shook her head. "No, let me do it."

"A woman who takes charge… I like that," he said and rolled onto his back as she went to work on the buttons of his dress shirt. The material was soon sliding away, along with his jacket as she tossed the cloying fabric to the floor. She then climbed atop him and rubbed her breasts against his chest. It was his turn to moan. She leaned down and kissed his nipples, lightly drawing one into her mouth before releasing it.

His hands fisted in her hair as he kissed her again and then she was climbing off of him to tug off his shoes, boxers and trousers. He was naked then, lying there, staring up at her. She was impressed by the sheer size of his manhood. She was feeling moist down there just thinking about the moment their bodies would become one.

He pulled her to him and she stood above him as his fingers trailed up her bare thighs. She stiffened in anticipation. He took his time kneading the taut flesh of her legs before finally bringing his fingers to the juncture of her thighs. She felt him lightly part her folds and slip a finger inside of her tight heat. She immediately clenched around his finger as he thrust it up inside of her. She drew him in as deep as she could and then he stroked her clit until she was a helpless puddle of sweet juices. "Ohmigoddd, AJ," she cried. "I – I-"

"Don't fight it, Elizabeth. Scream if you need to."

His name tore from her lips and she collapsed down onto him. He smiled at her and whispered, "We'll hear about that come morning," he said. She blushed but found she wasn't exactly embarrassed. Being with AJ made her feel less timid. A lot more confidant actually. She finally felt like she fit in her own skin. It was an amazing feeling. She wanted to return the favor.

She pushed him back and straddled him. She was about to remove her high heels but he shook his head. "Keep 'em on." She smiled and nodded. He rose up on his elbows as she closed her fist around his shaft and moved her fingers up and down him, giving him a good five or six powerful pumps with her fist.

"Liz," he said. "I need to be inside of you right now. I really, really do."

She smiled and nodded. They kissed feverishly while his hands snaked between them. He touched her clit again and then aligned himself at her entrance. She cried out as she took his girth into her, inch by inch. Her nails dug into his chest as he thrust up into her again and again and she rocked against him. Their coupling was fast and furious and they both came fiercely, their body's tremoring in time with the intensity of orgasm. Elizabeth soon collapsed on his chest and he wound his arms around her waist, kissing her right temple.

"That was … everything," AJ said in a husky voice. He kissed her lips gently and then kissed her cheeks and the base of her throat, slower than before, more reverently. As if he was appreciating and enjoying – no, worshipping – every inch of her.

They would couple no less than three times that night and then fall to sleep in each other's arms until the wee hours. She would awaken first and look over at him, his head pressed against the pillow, soft snores emitting from his parted lips, and a contented whisper of a smile on his face. He was at peace. He was happy. The demons that chased him had been kept at bay during the night. Better times were ahead for him. For both of them.

When he opened his eyes and looked at her, she smiled. His eyes were full of passion and feeling at just seeing her. He looked at her like he was in awe that she was still here. He looked at her like she really was the most precious thing in his world. She appreciated it.

And even if she wouldn't say it today, she loved him for it. She loved AJ Quartermaine.


	2. Things Unsaid

**First of all, I wanted to thank those of you who have replied thus far. The reviews are encouraging to say the least. **

**This part is Liz-centric. I thought it was important to get inside of her head a bit following the debacle at The Floating Rib last year where Quiz exploded. From here on out though, the story veers off in the direction my muse's choosing. Here we go…**

* * *

><p><strong><span>Things Unsaid<span>  
><strong>_**August 22, 2013**_

Of all the things that had been said, the thing that hurt her most was what had been left unsaid. She had never told AJ that she loved him, loved him to the depths of her very core – in a way she had never loved anyone before.

She remembered that blissful moment when AJ was buried so deep between her thighs, that she could see the stars… when he'd held her in his arms and she had felt a genuine completeness that she had never dreamt was possible. Maybe if she just would have told him how she felt, things could have had a different ending…

Then again, maybe not. AJ had destroyed so much tonight. The things he had said about Jake were beyond horrible. She could forgive him one day but she believed now, in some part of her, that he didn't want her; maybe that he never had. People had assumed that he was using her all along and she had said they were wrong, wrong about AJ and wrong about what they meant to each other.

She was haunted laying here in the dark, thinking that maybe all the naysayers had been right. She had fallen in love with AJ more and more each day when all the while, it was an act on his part. It was it an act, _wasn't it?_ She wanted to know if anything that they had been to each other was actually real. She deserved to know. She wanted to march right over the Quartermaine mansion and demand to see AJ.

But she couldn't leave her sons now. Not when Cameron had finally returned to his bed, dreaming of sailing and family days at the movies with AJ. Cameron had told her that the thing he and Aiden liked best about AJ was the way he made her smile. And the truth was, he had. He had made her so happy. And now she couldn't smile because her heart was in tatters. Everyone had said AJ Quatermaine would hurt her and dear god, they were right.

XoXoXo

Elizabeth didn't sleep. She spent a wakeful, restless night, tossing and turning on the sofa, wondering how everything could have gone so completely wrong. She felt so broken, as if her chest would cave in under the weight of her sadness.

A tear trickled down her cheek. She would allow herself one tear and then that was it. She had to get the boys up for daycare, give them breakfast and make their lunches. Then she had to get to work for her morning shift so she could pick up the boys afterwards and they could go to the multiplex across town for their movie date. They were both so excited about it. They wanted AJ to come along but that wasn't going to happen now, or ever.

The one tear … it brought another and still another and she buried her face in the pillow, biting back a sob. She lay there for a long time, until she heard footsteps on the staircase. She wiped her face as best as she could and turned to see Cameron moving over to her. "Allergies again?" He asked her. He looked very doubtful this time and she thought how perceptive he was, and how much he had endured when he was only just a little boy. He lost his brother and the only father he had ever known had left him. He was too innocent to be so knowledgeable about how much life could hurt.

She needed to tell him the truth, tell him AJ wasn't going to be around anymore. She didn't want to but he deserved that much, didn't he?

She pulled Cameron towards her, tucking him against him against her side, marveling how big he was getting. Still not too big for a kiss. She pressed her lips to his forehead and touched his cheek.

"You're sad," Cameron said. It was impossible to hide it.

"Yes, Cameron, I am. I'm not going to lie to you here. I don't think AJ … I don't think he will be coming around here for awhile."

"What? Did you two have a fight – like you and Daddy used to?"

Elizabeth cringed. "You remember that, huh?" He nodded. Yes, she and Lucky had had some horrible fights, even though they had tried to shield their kids from the fierceness of them as best as they could. Still, it seemed Cameron was so smart, that there was no hiding anything from him.

Elizabeth remembered how things had been with Lucky. Every time they had imploded, she had felt it was her fault, felt that she didn't hold on tight enough when a voice deep down told her that they just weren't meant to be. That while they had shared a deep love as teenagers, it was time to grow up. That innocence couldn't last forever. They could never recapture their teenage dreams after Lucky "died" in that fire. AJ never made her feel sorrowful or ashamed, at least not until last night. Her heart had found its home with him but now it was all for naught.

Elizabeth nuzzled Cameron's cheek. "I am sorry Daddy Lucky and I upset you. And I'm sorry if that telling you that AJ won't be coming around hurts you too. I never want to hurt you, Cam. You and Aiden are my everything."

"I will miss him but … I just don't want you to be sad, Mommy."

"It's okay to feel sad sometimes, Cam. Eventually the sadness will go away, even if it takes some time. Plus, I have you and your brother so there's no way I can be upset for long with you two always being so loving, caring and patient with me. We'll be okay, I know we will because we have each other." Elizabeth hoped she was telling Cameron the truth. She would have to get over this heartbreak sometime, right?

Cameron offered her a tight hug. "I love you, Mommy."

"I love you two, Cameron. So much." She forced a smile, even if it was a watery one. "Look, you should go upstairs and freshen up. I'll be right up to wake Aiden and help you guys get ready for the day."

Cameron nodded. "Okay."

"By the way, how does French Toast for breakfast sound?"

"Awesome!" Cameron rubbed his tummy, smiled and ran for the stairs.

Elizabeth rubbed her face, let one more teardrop fall, and then stood up on shaky legs. She caught a glance of herself in the glass of the window and cringed. She looked terrible – her eyes were shadowed and red-rimmed and her face was beyond pale. She remembered how AJ always told her that she was so beautiful and she had actually felt beautiful with him…

She sighed. She would get over this. She would make herself move on, even if it seemed impossible now. "Fake it 'til you make it," she whispered and forced a smile to her face. It looked and felt incredibly forced but she was not going to let anyone see how utterly destroyed she was.

She heard a loud thump against the door. The newspaper was here. She walked to the door, unbolted the lock and reached for the paper. The paperboy, a skinny beanpole of a guy named Reggie, waved to her and she waved back, then went back inside. She unfolded the paper, not particularly interested in anything it might say. She had kept subscribing to it out of force of habit. The news was always so sad. Filled with nothing but depressing stories of heartbreak, tragedy, losses and-

"Murder!" She gasped.

Connie Falconeri's face stared up at her. She was smirking and it was a photo obviously taken in better times, times when she was actually alive. The headline screamed **"FIANCEE OF ALLEGED MOBSTER SONNY CORINTHOS FOUND SLAIN IN OFFICE!"** In smaller letters, she read "An arrest has been made. More details on page three."

She quickly turned the pages, her breath hitched in her throat, so tightly that she actually felt physical pain. Her hands shook as she read that AJ had been arrested for the crime. He would be arraigned tomorrow in open court. The paper fell from her tremoring hands.

Her whole body trembled and she felt her knees knocking together as well. She knew AJ was a lot of things … but a killer? Sure, he had been upset over Connie's treachery but enough to kill her? No, no that wasn't him. "He didn't do it," she whispered to herself. "He couldn't have. I just don't believe it." Another teardrop rolled down her face. "He may have lied about caring about me; he may say and do horrible things but not this. I won't believe it."

Again, she wished she would have spoken up and told him that she didn't just care about him but was madly in love with him. If she had, could things have turned out differently? Maybe, somehow. The regret of things unsaid was going to eat away at her for some time.

She heard Cameron and Aiden calling for her and she wiped her face one last time, calling back, "I'm coming!".

She picked up the fallen newspaper and tossed it into the fireplace, behind the safety gate. She then reached for the lighter high up on the mantle and set the whole paper on fire. It was August, much too hot for a roaring fire, but she wanted to make it go away. She wanted to make all of it just go away.


End file.
